The Urban Crow Plays in Traffic




The urban crow sits on some stone hero’s head
watching folk pass below.
He briefly contemplates tweaking off a pair of specs
or alighting on a bald patch or
dicing with death among cars where
a drunk has dropped a takeaway
but decides it would be more prudent to
make for the park where there will be
kids with ice cream cones or popcorn.
He can con popcorn from an infant nae bother
with a wee stare from his beady eye
but he treads carefully.
See they buses, says the urban crow,
they’d run you down as soon as look at you.


Introducing the Urban Crow

So there I was, a few weeks ago, walking about Glasgow, when I spotted a large black bird, wandering in and out of the parked cars, as though deep in thought.
That was the start of it. I came home and wrote a poem called The Urban Crow.
Then - about a week later - I saw the crow (Was it the same crow? Who can say!) sitting with his mate in a cherry tree.
And later still, I spotted my crow perched on one of those big open waste bins, examining the contents.
There are six or seven Urban Crow poems now, with another one coming roughly every week. I'm growing ever more fond of him. He's nothing like his elemental alter ego - Ted Hughes' wonderful, savage and highly intellectual beast - although I'm beginning to think he has certain aspirations in that direction.
No - he's a bit more craven, and equivocal: an urban crow, who casts a wry and beady eye on the goings-on round about him. I've tried out some of these poems at poetry readings and the crow invariably gets his own little round of applause. He seems to appreciate the attention, because (uncannily) I've started to see him all over the place. Only today, I caught a glimpse of him sifting carefully through cut grass outside the Burrell Collection in Pollock Park....
Tune in regularly, to find out what the Urban Crow might be reflecting on next.

The Intellectuals and the Masses

I've been meaning to read this book for a long time, but finally managed to get my hands on a copy. It is subtitled 'Pride and Prejudice among the Literary Intelligentsia, 1880 - 1939'. Having read John Carey's 'What Good Are the Arts?' some time ago, and found myself agreeing with just about everything in it, I wanted to find out what he had made of Lawrence, Woolf and the rest. Now - about half way through - I find that it's one of those rare books that I am reading VERY SLOWLY in an effort to prolong the sheer pleasure. It's witty, sharp, intelligent and full of profoundly disturbing insights - but written in the most elegant prose imaginable. Beware though. You may never feel the same about certain parts of the literary canon again.
Just to give you a flavour of the whole, here's Carey writing about sculptor and designer Eric Gill and others like him who - keener on the cult of the peasant than they were on the great 'mass' of humanity, which they persistently tried to dehumanise - pretended 'to be peasants themselves.' Gill, seemingly, wore a variety of 'peasant' costume, including a 'belted smock and, in winter, loose scarlet silk under drawers.' But all the same, he wasn't too keen on the idea that everyone should be taught to read and 'hoped that a bomb would fall on Selfridges.'
This is a clever and entertaining assault on the founders of modern culture. It was first published (to establishment consternation) in 1992. Wish I'd read it sooner: the kind of book that you want to shout 'Yes!' and applaud after every chapter. Not only that, but I began to see disturbing parallels between this and so much of what passes for commentary on 'mass' culture nowadays. I was amused, though, to find a Louis MacNeice quote, about hospital nurses spending their savings on 'cosmetics, cigarettes and expensive underclothes.' His snobbery and sexism were strangely echoed in a letter which I received only a few years ago from somebody in a position of authority within a major literary organisation. When I had said that I simply couldn't afford the fees (this was nothing less than the truth) he - it had to be a he - accused me of spending my earnings on lunches, cosmetics and the like instead. A true inheritor of MacNeice's prejudices!

Poetry and Other Things

Recently, I've been talking to several other people, artists of all sorts, about collaboration and wondering where all these ideas are coming from. Not that I'm giving the game away about the exact ideas on here - well not just yet, although when any of these potential projects get off the ground then I may well be blogging about the process. But it's the ideas, and the novelty of them that is engaging me right now. I don't necessarily mean originality here, although I do think that at least some of what's in the air for me is original. But I've been meditating about why I've suddenly been possessed by a number of creative ideas that seem to bear little relation to anything I've written for some time.
I think it's partly because I've been working with media studies students and their excitement about their own projects has proved inspirational. I had forgotten how wonderful it could be to engage with a piece of work simply for its own sake.
The best way of explaining it is maybe to relate something that happened to me in the past.
Once upon a time, I studied a long, ancient and mysterious poem, as part of a university course. And no, I'm not saying what it is, because I have a feeling that somewhere down the line, I'm going to want to go back to it! But it's the process that interests me. I laboured over this difficult piece of work for weeks, until I was bleary eyed and confused. And then suddenly, it was as if some strange correspondence between the words, their meaning, and the shape of the poem on the page slotted into place, and I understood it and its implications all at once. It made me dizzy, like looking at an infinite panorama or up into some great dome. And of course, it may simply have been fatigue! But that doesn't invalidate what in retrospect was one of the key experiences of my life.
Well, it faded. Other things took its place. Until recently when some of that excitement seems to have come back. I'm not sure why. Perhaps I've given myself permission to take myself seriously as a writer again. I don't mean that I'm going to write relentlessly joyless stuff - but I do mean that I'm going to try to write with a real sense of experimentation.

On the Need to Invent and Reinvent

I've spent a lot of time recently thinking about the process of writing, in a personal sense, of course. I can't make judgements for other people, only myself. And - you know - I increasingly feel that the online world tries to do just that. It's relentlessly judgemental - full of people, often spectacularly unsuccessful themselves - who are all too anxious to make sets of rules for other people to follow. I've been tempted down that route myself from time to time although frankly I've always been a bit of an anarchist.
I spend one day a week helping students with their academic writing but that is completely (and blissfully) different from dictating how people ought to write creatively. With so many years of experience in so many different areas of writing, I can look at a piece of academic work in a discipline I know nothing about and still make helpful suggestions. Often it's because I know very little about the subject under discussion that I can see the wood for the trees, and suggest what seem to me to be minor structural changes which - so people tell me - are often immensely helpful.
But creative writing? Well, I find myself increasingly reluctant to say anything about anybody else's work. I have a handful of writer friends - less than a handful, to be strictly accurate - for whom I do the odd bit of reading - as they do for me. I trust them, I hope they trust me. But I'm never really criticising what they do in the sense of judging it. I may interrogate the work itself and them from time to time, to give them a sense of how what they've written comes across to a friendly reader. I may reinforce their own doubts about certain aspects of the work with the occasional gentle query. (We always have doubts. I was going to say, even seasoned professionals. But I think they -we? - have more doubts than most. We all know enough to know what we don't know!) I will be scrupulously honest and as observant as I can be. And I often find myself praising what is genuinely wonderful in the hope that my feedback will help balance those doubts which do beset all writers from time to time. I like to think that I can be of some help - but I'm too busy wrestling with my own creative angels to be judgemental about anybody else's!
So over the past year, I have spent rather a lot of time thinking about what I write myself, and why. How I feel about it. How I want to feel about it. And why - over the past year - I seem to have ground inexorably to a halt in some aspects of my writing, while in others I am so full of ideas and experiments and insights that I hardly know where to begin. As writers we are naturally inventive. 'Where do you get your ideas from?' is an incomprehensible question to most writers. We are usually full of ideas and we neither know nor care where they come from. That's never the problem. The problem is all too often the translation of those thrilling ideas into words on the page. Because sometimes, you look at them and they seem so pedestrian. What soared in the mind limps along on the page.
Which leads me to the idea of reinvention. But it's late. And I'll save that for another post.

Politicians

Woke up this morning, and switched on the radio to hear a Labour politician pontificating in the teeth of the 10p Income Tax row. This - for those of you who may be reading this blog from elsewhere - involves our Labour Government which is supposed to look out for those on low incomes (one of the reasons why I, for one, voted for them) suddenly deciding to hit a significant cross section of low earners with increased taxes, while handing a few hundred pounds a year more to those who don't really need it. It has caused predictable ructions among back benchers. What really struck me about the interview though, was its uncanny similarity to a whole series of interviews with Tory politicians before their eventual debacle all those years ago. I remember them well. Not only would they never admit to being wrong, but in those peculiarly plumptious, moralising and deeply enraging tones which politicians always assume when they have become blinkered by power, they would tell us that we simply didn't understand what they were trying to do, ie we were thick, they knew best and if they could only speak slowly, loudly and clearly, so that we could get our poor little heads around it, we would be persuaded that they had been right all along.
This morning it was Labour's turn to assume that familiar, condescending, hectoring tone. I'm sure I heard somebody saying not that they might have got this one wrong (they sure have) but that they needed to 'explain their policies more clearly to the electorate'. Or some such guff.
Well here's some news. We don't need an explanation. We understand all too well, just as we understood back then. It may come as a surprise, but we just don't agree with you. You can explain till you're blue in the face, but it won't make a blind bit of difference. And - this being a democracy - you know what follows, fellows.

Journalists versus Creative Writers

Not, of course, that there is - on the whole - that much difference between us. Most so called 'creative writers' I know have done, still do some journalism- as I do myself. Many novelists began their working lives as journalists. Many journalists become novelists, write stories or poems. But having just spent an interesting, and pleasurable day in the company of a group of full time journalists, I found myself realising that there is a big (and perhaps growing) difference between the ways in which our minds work.
My fellows on what was an informative and busy trip, aimed at allowing us to gather information about a particular event and write about it afterwards, were a mixed group of 7 or 8 more or less full time journalists from the US, London, Ireland and Germany. Several were involved in online magazines (in a couple of cases their own ventures). And at some point in the day it struck me that they have a completely different attitude from those friends and colleagues who are wholly involved in creative writing. It's more than confidence. I think they expect to be treated as valued professionals and guess what? Everyone round about them seems to live up to those expectations. I had to keep mentally pinching myself. I was with a group of writers who were discussing a booming business, and not how awful things were!
It got me thinking about how so often we, at the creative end, devalue ourselves. We constantly 'talk' failure, and don't seem to have the confidence of our own professionalism. Just as an example, last year, when I was commissioned to write about the wonderful Drovers' Inn on Loch Lomondside for a magazine, it never even occurred to me to tell the management what I was doing. Any of these (in some cases much younger) people would have set the whole thing up in advance, been well treated, and paid out not a bean. And why not, if they are going to be using their expertise in the service of one business to promote another? Consultants, even in the strapped for cash arts, get very handsomely rewarded for their services!
I know of course that many forms of writing are undertaken purely for pleasure, or in a spirit of exploration, and those are never going to pay well. But - perhaps because we spend so much of our time on those aspects of our work - we forget that there is a business end of the market. And when we are involved in it, we forget or perhaps are too timid to value ourselves and what we do, so it should come as no surprise when other people take us at our own valuation, and treat us accordingly. Some years ago, I was asked to attend a script meeting about a BBC radio production, in Edinburgh. There was, said the producer, 'no money in the kitty' to pay for travel expenses. So I went at my own expense. Any one of those young journalists would have said 'sorry, but no money, no meeting'. Not only would they have been right, but you can bet that the cash would have miraculously appeared from somewhere. It is high time that we changed our perspectives.

Writing - Five Ways to Get Started

By which I mean 'get started in the morning or afternoon or evening' - whenever you write, in fact. But I don't mean 'get started' in general. To write, you really have to want to write. You have to have ideas, to live with people and places milling about your head, to see as a writer sees and hear as a writer hears, and have that essential desire to communicate. But all the same, sometimes it can be hard just to 'get going'. The blank screen is as bad as the blank page in that respect. You can spend plenty of time planning and plotting, even more time researching - particularly now that you can browse online. But sooner or later, you have to get down to it, and write something. And in my years of experience of running workshops, that can be the most difficult thing for people to do. It's a problem I have myself sometimes - now for instance - although for me it comes and goes a bit. And sooner or later, I know that I can bite the bullet and get down to it. But here are some of my own favourite ways to get started. All reasonable contributions welcome!
1 - Post to a blog. There is something about blogging that - for me at any rate - primes the pump, gets the words flowing. To be used with care though. All too easy to think that - having posted to your blog - you've actually achieved something. Well you have. You've achieved a blog post.
2 - Drink a mug of strong - real - coffee. Alcohol makes me think that I can write all kinds of brilliant things. I no longer believe it. Not, you understand, that I'm against it in principle. Just that it's deceptive. If you write under the influence of any mind altering substance, you'll soon realise that when you read back what you've written you'll be doomed to disappointment. But strong coffee - that always works for me.
3 - Stop while you are in mid creative flow. This is a really useful piece of advice and I can't remember who first gave it to me, so if I'm infringing anyone's copyright I apologise in advance, and will post a proper attribution! Do not stop at the end of a scene, or chapter. If you can bring yourself to do it, stop while you still want to go on rather than when you feel you are winding down. That way there's a chance that some of the magic will still be there when you resume the following day.
4 - Go for a long walk first. Not always possible I know, and not advice which I follow half enough myself, but there is something inspirational about walking, something that seems to lift the pressure and make you want to get started.
5 - Fall in love. I owe this rather startling piece of advice to Scottish poet Robert Burns who in a letter to Maria Riddell said that he had to be in love himself before he could write a really good love poem - or words to that effect. He had, let's face it, another agenda. But he was right in this as in so much else. Being in love - as I remember it - can be pretty inspirational - so long as you can control a certain disastrous tendency to write only about the object of your affections.

Time Management for Writers - The Reality and the Dream

I have realised over the past few years that this is not my forte but I seem to have grown infinitely worse as time has gone by and I'm not sure why. Maybe it's just that life has grown ever more complicated. I don't remember having quite this trouble when I was young and madly excited by whatever I happened to be working on at the time. Now there's the added complication of earning a living, doing that mysteriously expanding thing known as 'paperwork' and trying to help maintain a house and garden in something like full working order. I can perfectly well understand why certain writers have a dedicated office where they go 'out to work' every morning.
Once or twice I have assessed what exactly it is that distracts me from flat out work, and the list goes something like this -
Coax self out of bed about 7.30 (mornings are not my best time) and drink copious quantities of tea. Shower, dress, dry hair. Best ideas always occur in shower. Make some notes. Make bed. Sometimes change bed and sling washing in machine.
Check online business, The Scottish Home (antiques - our bread and butter these days) answer questions about listed items, send invoices where appropriate, etc. Sort out stock to list later on today, usually in the evening.
Field and answer various emails, often to do with writing of one kind or another. Promise self that will not check emails compulsively through the day in case amazing offer from publisher or preferably film maker is lurking in inbox.
Post has arrived. Mostly junk. Some bills. Visualise bills as cheques (Yes, I've read The Secret too!)
Wrap and address anything that has been sold. In the case of textiles this involves tissue paper, pretty stickers, nice postcards and envelopes. Presentation is important in this business.
Take packages to post office.
Do some PC maintenance. In extreme cases (like last Sunday for instance) this took up most of the day while I tried to restore elderly and sick PC to factory settings and then couldn't get printer to work. No disk. Found HP disk for other machine. Tried it. It worked. Miracle.
Make very large cafetiere of very strong coffee. Drink very large mug of said coffee.
Spend a little while blogging - make resolution not to spend too much time on this, but it does seem to prime the writing pump.
Do a bit of online research for latest project.
Read dissertations which students have sent via email. (Do one day a week on RLF fellowship at local university)
Sun is shining. Notice that all plants in conservatory are panting and wilting in heat. Water them. Drink second mug of coffee.
Husband says 'Can you just....' Could be anything from ordering paint and canvas to invoicing somebody. Remember that have not done any online banking for ages and everyday working account is probably overdrawn. Not disastrous since agreed overdraft, but should do it now. Am slightly horrified by falling balances and rising bills.
Ring at doorbell. Could be friends or relatives popping in for morning coffee, man to read electricity, oil or coal delivery etc etc etc.
Phone rings. Cannot ignore phone. May be publisher or film maker with unrepeatable offer. It is invariably somebody asking personal questions in an effort to sell me something. Either that, or friends, or relatives. Occasionally it's work. Always delighted when it is agent. Last week it was an American offering to sell us shares in an oil company. You must be joking, I said, and put the phone down. (Query, why do these people who have, after all, phoned you up always get quite shirty when you won't play ball?)
By now it's lunch time. Drink tea, eat large bowl of yoghurt. Will write this afternoon.
Sun is shining. Garden is a mess. Do garden and feel guilty about writing. Or do writing and feel equally guilty about garden.
Phone rings. Kwikfit offering to renew car insurance at reduced rate if I do it now. Decide to save time by doing it now. Answer questions about self and car. Have to go upstairs to find car documents.
Do photo session for listings later this evening while light is good.
Write. Bliss. Room is quiet. Radio is off.
Notice that there is a heap of bills, invoices, receipts waiting to be filed. File them.
Eat meal cooked by husband. Sometimes cook meal. Drink some wine. Government says women must not drink wine under pain of assorted apocalyptic disasters. Drink another glass in a spirit of anarchy.
Upload pics to PC and tweak them. Do some listings. This involves a lot of descriptive writing since bulk of antiques are textiles, vintage clothes etc. And measuring. And laundry. Finish blog post from this morning. Check emails and reply. Waste time on Facebook. Restrain self from looking at son's Facebook page. Must not spy on grown up offspring.
Watch an hour or so's TV.
Friend phones for a catch-up.
Make tea.
An hour later check online listings that are coming to an end and send out invoices.
Go to bed anytime between twelve and one and read for however long I can stay awake - sometimes an hour or more, sometimes ten minutes.
None of this - of course - includes shopping, buying antiques at auction, designing and ordering postcards for online business, ordering office supplies, putting in the washing, stacking the dishwasher, stain removing and laundering the old textiles, car booting, going to meetings, really doing the garden, dusting, baking and cleaning the loo. Husband always does more than his fair share. He even irons the textiles (much better at it than me.) It does not include having my hair cut and my teeth fixed and browsing bookshops and doing an art history course and looking at handbags in TK Maxx. Nor does it include my all time favourite occupation which is sitting in Caffe Nero, preferably very early in the morning, with cool music playing, drinking a very large capuccino (without chocolate on top.) and making notes for poems in the back of the little diary I always carry with me. Three cheers for Caffe Nero. I would actually be quite happy to spend all day working in there if they would keep me supplied with coffee. Would they like a writer in residence? It could be me.
My dream - I'm working on it - is to have a small studio flat, preferably in Glasgow's Merchant City (a quiet street of course, somewhere high up and at the back of a building, quite close to Caffe Nero would be good) with few distractions - a nice desk, a laptop, a comfortable bed, a shower room a small kitchen area and very little else. I would spend three or four days a week there with occasional sorties for coffee and probably get more done in those three days than I ever do in a week of trying hard at home. Plus my husband would be glad to see me when I came back. I would, of course, tell very few people where it was, lest shoppers should decide to pop in unannounced and leave carrier bags with me. But in any case I could pretend that I wasn't there. Paradise. If anyone out there is reading this and wants a tame writer to flat sit on an occasional basis, just let me know!

The Silent Traveller in the Yorkshire Dales

I bought this book a few weeks ago in the big Oxfam Bookshop in Byres Road in Glasgow. This is a shop - I must confess- that I don't wholeheartedly approve of. I don't approve of the fact that it sells large quantities of almost new books at quite high prices, by writers who reap no benefits whatsoever from the transaction. But that is, I suppose, beside the point. I still browse their shelves when I'm in the area, and comfort myself with the thought that I usually buy books which are well out of print, like this one.
It was written in 1940 in English, by a Chinese traveller, poet and artist called Chiang Yee. It consists of little chapters about various places he has visited, interspersed with poems in Chinese and English, and the most beautiful delicate illustrations very much in the Chinese style, and yet they are of recognisably Yorkshire beauty spots, many of which I visited with my parents when I was a little girl and we lived in Leeds. My Polish father was an enthusiastic hill walker and rambler. Most weekends we would go somewhere within striking distance of the city (usually by bus - we didn't have the luxury of a car in those days) to walk and picnic.
Everything about this book is enchanting. He has captured the quality of being 'in the moment' so that he is describing what he sees and how he feels about it even as he is seeing it. His observations are perceptive, quiet, full of minor epiphanies and little words of wisdom. You read it and feel peace seep into your soul. I doubt if it would ever find a publisher nowadays.
I was enjoying it in bed this morning, while I drank a large mug of tea, and forgot that I also had a pen in my hand, since I was planning to take some notes. But I got so completely lost in the 'now' of the book (Chiang Yee would have been delighted!) that I forgot where I was, and that the pen was open. It was one of those 'gel' ink pens, and it leaked black blotches all over my nice white duvet cover. I had to get up and change the bed. Which is as good an illustration as any of the benefits of being wholly in the moment and something which this wonderful poet would almost certainly have recommended.

Moving On

After Christmas - as any regular visitors to this blog (there are some!) will know - I experimented with blogging a novel called The Corncrake. I wasn't looking for feedback on the writing, because I knew that whatever happened, I wasn't going to be rewriting it unless at the request of a publisher - preferably one bearing cash. Hell, I've been at this game for more years than I care to admit to and I have what a senior academic recently told me was a 'distinguished cv'. My initial reaction to this assessment was the usual 'who? me?' before it struck me that he was right. I just hadn't thought about it like that before.
Which is not in any way to say that I'm above criticism. But I'm selective about the advice I heed. I listen to my agent, whose observations are always helpful and very much to the point, a handful of writer friends who I can trust to tell me the absolute truth, but whose own work I like and respect, a few perceptive editors and excellent directors - and my sister in law, who isn't a writer, but is a voracious reader. She often proof reads for me, I can count on her to be sympathetic, but full of insights too.
So what has this to do with The Corncrake? Well - it was an experiment, so it was probably worth doing. I wanted to see how easy it was for people to read, if they would return to the blog, and so on. What I think I hadn't bargained for was that I myself fell out of love with the process, albeit not the novel. I got bored, the medium wasn't right, I wanted to blog about other things, short things, ideas, observations. And it suddenly struck me that blogging a novel in this was was sending out entirely the wrong message about me, about what I write, about the way I write now. It was, I now realise, a question of professionalism.
Somebody pointed out the risks back at the start and now I think that she was absolutely right. Because I've moved on too and started to remember who and what I am, started to rediscover my own potential as a writer - as the possessor of that 'distinguished cv'. I want to explore, experiment, push the boundaries, take the odd leap into the dark. It's what I used to do all the time when I was young and enthralled by words and ideas and their possibilities. Now, for some reason, that excitement has returned to me, a flurry of projects and proposals. Which is why I've deleted the Corncrake completely from this blog, making room for something new. Moving on....

What I love about Glasgow

You can read my latest piece for the Financial Times on 'what I love about Glasgow' here.
Bit 'rosy' maybe, but I really do love the city, and sometimes feel that it has a peculiarly bad press - one that our east coast friends do little to counter, perhaps lest the media should start to focus on their own problem areas a bit more closely!

Happy Endings

Is it me, as Wogan says, most mornings, and yes, most of the time I'm a Tog, with occasional gloomy aberrations into Radio 4 territory - is it me, or are the endings of books profoundly unsatisfactory these days? I'm not about to name names, because I'm not in the business of slagging off my fellow professionals, but I have read several interesting, entertaining and well written novels over the past year... until the last few pages, whereupon I was left with a feeling of profound disappointment. A sort of 'oh, is that all it was?' moment. Sometimes the book just peters out, as though the writer got bored. Sometimes the ending is much too neat. Sometimes there's an unlikely twist, which is dropped in without any preamble.
Then, a couple of weeks ago, I read a superb novel called One Good Turn by Kate Atkinson. The whole book is exceptional, but one of the most satisfying things about it is the ending, which is a wee stroke of genius. I turned the page and my jaw literally dropped. But it wasn't just the unexpected twist. It was the fact that all the clues had been there, subtly, carefully planted. So even while you were thinking 'My God!' you were also starting to think 'But of course that's what happened! Of course it did!' Quite the best ending of any novel I have read for a very long time. Read it and learn.